You're gonna clone a Woolly Mammoth? I'll take two!

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Discovery is reporting that in five years there will be at least one real, non-Ray Romano-voiced woolly mammoth walking around the earth with the rest of us. That's just in time for global warming to really kick into high gear! So, although the new big mammoth on campus is likely to be a little warm, my guess is that we'll do our best to accommodate. After all, we wouldn't want to damage the delicious woolly mammoths steaks that we'll be harvesting in seven years!

This, of course, begs the question that was raised in the full article: "Is it such a good idea, however, to clone animals that have long been extinct?" The answer that I've come up with after zero deliberation is: "Yes, shut up." This is far too awesome an opportunity to spend any time questioning whether it's "right' or "ethical" or "a sign of the apocalypse." This is something must be done based on the merits of how rad it is. It's a joyous occasion and, as is appropriate in any joyous occasion, I'll quote the immortal words of Will Smith from Independence Day to the upcoming, hairy arrival, "Welcome to Earth!" 

Or, should I say, "Welcome back to Earth!" [Discovery]

Willy Nelson: Oil Scientist

Okay, so it's a different Willy Nelson. Still, this Canadian, sciencey version of our American, musical version seems like he might be a lot more helpful with this Gulf of Mexico oil spill situation than ours. Sure, our guy could whip up a song to soothe the sorrows of the people of the affected areas but this guy might actually be able to help fix the ocean!

Quick, everyone get a cheese grater, all your candles and a big bowl. Now, get to making wax shavings and send the results to anyone you know with a boat or helicopter. They'll take care of the rest! People with boats and helicopters didn't get there by being dimwitted. [Reddit]

Dinosaurs: Allergic to Asteroids, Fueled by Fire

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Over the past couple of weeks, scientists have basically claimed that the decades old questions of what killed the dinosaurs and what led to their original rise to power have been solved, at least, superficially.

The short answer is that dinosaurs were killed by an asteroid and rose to power via volcanic activity.

Whenever scientists say that they are "sure" of anything, take it with a grain of salt. It's true that the major events that impacted the rise and fall of the age of dinosaurs were intense volcanism and the collision of Earth with a giant space rock, respectively, but that doesn't mean that we now know everything. If that's confusing, just think about how much we know about gravity. We know that gravity is real and that it makes apples hit the ground once they've fallen from their branches, however, what we don't know about gravity literally could fill the universe. It does, really: we still don't know much about intergalactic gravitation! So, when scientists say that an asteroid killed the dinosaurs or that volcanism helped bring them to power, take it to mean about as much as "gravity makes apples fall downward." In my opinion, there is still a lot more to the mystery of dinosaurs and that's one of the reasons that dinosaurs are so interesting!

As a non-scientist who happens to find science interesting, something that seems very intriguing about the rise and fall of the dinosaurs is the inverse effects that the extinction events had on crocodilian animals. To very poorly sum up the articles I linked to above, they cover three major extinction events:

1. The asteroid impact of the Triassic

2. The volcanism caused by the splitting of Pangaea that represented the shift from the Triassic into the Jurassic

3. The asteroid impact that ended the Cretaceous

If you were to draw a graph representing how dinosaurs and crocodiles fared through these three events, it wouldn't look like this but it will because I lack graphic design skills:

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As you can see, crocodilians love asteroids and dinosaurs hate 'em! On the flip side, the volcanism that led to the dinosaurs came at the expense of the dominance of crocodilians. The asteroid that wiped out the dinosaurs didn't have nearly such a drastic effect on crocs. So, scientists may believe that they "know" these things to be true but the question is still "why?" Why is it that despite being thought to physiologically very similar in many ways, dinos and crocs took such different paths after extinction-level events? That's the real mystery. [Wired.com, Discovery]

PS: I should note that my graph is not only terrible but also inaccurate in a couple of ways. For example, it sort of implies that crocs were nowhere during the age of dinosaurs but they were, just not to the extent that dinos were. It also sort of implies that crocs took over the planet once dinos went extinct whereas any decent evolutionary biologist knows that Earth was inherited by rats that evolved into woolly mammoths that evolved into monkeys that evolved into humans, duh! Sorry if my crappy graph obscured this truism.